I want...
Rachel Davidson • 30 January 2023
... a Christmas present wish-list.
Well, here we are in the season of Advent, and the close of yet another year. As I have been nagging my children to give me their Christmas present lists, I figured I would put one of my own together. You get a sneak peak of it before it gets sent off to the big-guy for fulfillment:
**I want to feel youthful – feeling
strong and pain free, living with style and panache.
**I want to glance in the mirror and see a wholly true version of myself and the best of my relations and ancestors looking back at me.
**I want to hear some loving communication between the old couple living next door, telegraphed through the wall between us.
**I want to find out about the prosperity and success of my other neighbours on the other side.
**I want to have a heart capable of withstanding the bruising of life, a heart which is full and generous and protected from momentary, passing unkindness.
**I want to be called gracious and loving when I am being those things. I want to be assertive or sensitive when it is necessary for the protection of my boundaries to be those things.
**I want to be happy when I am alone, but more; I want to be accepted when I am in company.
**I want to feel confident that the important people in my life are being responsible for their happiness and the state of their worlds.
**I want to discard some of my childhood training and beliefs about my worth and lovableness. I want to make those around me feel worthy and loved.
**I want to be set-free from false accusation and judgement by people who should know better and who cannot question the face-value rhetoric.
**I want to be light hearted about the importance my writing is to my heart. I want to free my writing from any torture or pressure my needy heart creates.
**I want to succeed for those who need me. I want to be needed by those who always try.
**I want to be a sister who knows what it is to be liked by her sisters.
**I want to be noticed and heard. I want to be on the outside, unnoticed, enjoying people watching, so that I can write better characters).
**I want to be told the truth by those willing to be challenged by me. I want to be mindful of other’s capacity to hear truths and find a way to still share them, gently.
**I want to make people comfortable with what I share. I want to not keep it all a secret.
**I want to embrace the hard soul-work that writing a great novel is. I want to honour myself by being brave enough to investigate my painful corners and describe them with accuracy.
**I want to be a good friend. I want to have good friends.
**I want to go graciously into the dying of the light. I want to rage appropriately against it too.
**I want to be gracious and kind. I want to be difficult to push around.
** I want this letter to be a one-page only document.
**I want to glance in the mirror and see a wholly true version of myself and the best of my relations and ancestors looking back at me.
**I want to hear some loving communication between the old couple living next door, telegraphed through the wall between us.
**I want to find out about the prosperity and success of my other neighbours on the other side.
**I want to have a heart capable of withstanding the bruising of life, a heart which is full and generous and protected from momentary, passing unkindness.
**I want to be called gracious and loving when I am being those things. I want to be assertive or sensitive when it is necessary for the protection of my boundaries to be those things.
**I want to be happy when I am alone, but more; I want to be accepted when I am in company.
**I want to feel confident that the important people in my life are being responsible for their happiness and the state of their worlds.
**I want to discard some of my childhood training and beliefs about my worth and lovableness. I want to make those around me feel worthy and loved.
**I want to be set-free from false accusation and judgement by people who should know better and who cannot question the face-value rhetoric.
**I want to be light hearted about the importance my writing is to my heart. I want to free my writing from any torture or pressure my needy heart creates.
**I want to succeed for those who need me. I want to be needed by those who always try.
**I want to be a sister who knows what it is to be liked by her sisters.
**I want to be noticed and heard. I want to be on the outside, unnoticed, enjoying people watching, so that I can write better characters).
**I want to be told the truth by those willing to be challenged by me. I want to be mindful of other’s capacity to hear truths and find a way to still share them, gently.
**I want to make people comfortable with what I share. I want to not keep it all a secret.
**I want to embrace the hard soul-work that writing a great novel is. I want to honour myself by being brave enough to investigate my painful corners and describe them with accuracy.
**I want to be a good friend. I want to have good friends.
**I want to go graciously into the dying of the light. I want to rage appropriately against it too.
**I want to be gracious and kind. I want to be difficult to push around.
** I want this letter to be a one-page only document.
Rachel x
