Never Meet Your Idols

There is a particular person who, for the sake of another label, let’s say is a ‘celebrity’ in their chosen field and who I have admired for many years. I have read their books, had the good luck to hear them speak in public and been struck by their enviable sense of being wholly themselves. I believe they have a commendable safe footing on the planet.

Because of this, they are a bit of an icon; an embodiment of how to live a good life and be connected with what really matters. This has helped me populate my own values and behaviours. They fulfil a useful symbolic role - a guiding light for certain aspects of my life, a talismanic reminder to get myself centred upon what feels good.

In modern times, people such as this are projected into our homes via that mesmerising tool called a television. Or maybe we listen to them on the radio, perhaps we make a special trip to gather in a particular building to hear them speak publicly, or have them appear, projected onto the massive cinematic screen in front of us. In ancient times, these heroes were spoken of around the campfire. Stories, passed down from generation to generation, of great men and women whose example is laid out in myth in order to teach us how best to utilise this gift, or torture, of life.

No matter the medium used to enthral us with their flavour of what it is to be human, these heroes are nothing new. Throughout humanity’s history, we have always sought out such beings. It is important, I think, for each of us to find such a person – a being we can admire and project our hopes and aspirations for ourselves onto. It’s why, if you discover a character in a book you love, you are often so sad to finish the story and leave them behind.

So, after years of distant devotion to my particular ‘hero’s’ perspective, a conversation that has the feeling of being mutual, but of course never has been, one day, they make a mistake. They say something so vastly outside of what I had imagined would be their take on the world it shakes me. It is a note of discordancy, painful to hear frankly, a violent break in the harmony I believed they represented. Without notice they appear to have become something different to our agreement. I say to myself; how can this person hold such a view; how can that sit with the shared values I thought we had?

This is the reason it is usually not a good idea to meet your idols in ‘real’ life!

For it will be obvious to you, that this symbolic idol is, and always was, just a mere human being. A frail, fallible creature who is trying to make the best of what they have in this life, battling against the great unknown, carrying their own version of this world’s heavy responsibilities. They were never the person I imagined them to be. How could they possibly be so? I did not ‘visit’ them when they were at their worst, did not see them in the act of failing. I was treated to an edited version of their life - viewing them from a remote position, infrequently and through my own filters.

One of the main Christian commandments is ‘thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image’, meaning that there is danger in worshiping false idols, those who we may become confused represent the ineffable presence of God, or source, or whatever celestial highest being is most meaningful to you. This commandment describes the ‘danger’ I risk whenever I imagine that any other person, past or present, has all the answers, embodies everything that is good and proper and has none of the bad and improper about them.

None of us is perfect. We each are capable of laudable inspiration for others, but also weakness, ignorance and selfishness too. We are all trying our best with the resources we believe we have and from the starting points we perceive ourselves to be at.

Think of your parents, how god-like they once were to you. Think back to that moment when you first realised they too had the potential for folly and weakness, no matter how diligent and loving they also were.

It is an important moment for all of us, to reach that awareness and get comfortable with that reality. Some of us will restart the cycle and become god-like parents ourselves - and be reminded over and over again, in every single second of our parenting, just how much we are making it all up in the moment, happy most days just to have kept our beloved offspring alive, hoping, but ever-doubtful, we’re also setting a good example to them.

All of this? What lesson does it have for me?

Well, for one, it is healthier to respect another person’s work and viewpoint with a big dose of reality to accompany it. Be inspired by your heroes, allow them to encourage what it is inside of you that wishes to make itself known. But do it knowing that these humans inspire you because of what you, yourself, already know is the truth of you. They are useful graven images only when you remember that the presence of the ineffable is already within you. You are already whole. You only need stories about inspirational heroes so that you are better able to hear the chime of God within your heart and tune into it.

A few readers of my first book, The Point of Me, Beyond Veils, Book One, have said they wish they had a Marcham character in their own lives. I always agree with them - Marcham is a wonderful friend, he has great courage, loyalty and wisdom, he is the epitome of a hero – then I point out to them that they already do, smile and leave them to figure it out what that means.

So, I say, meet your idols. Shake them by their human hands. Smile at them and thank them for their story which harmonised so well with yours. Then let them get on with being a messy, kind of just coping person, just like each of us is. Don’t hold their humanity against them, celebrate it. Just as you should your very own.

 Rachel x

P.S. The Hope of Us, Beyond Veils, Book 3:  May I I ask, if you've grabbed yourself a copy, to let me know what you think of Mona and her answer to the question; can love overcome a legacy of abuse? Or even better - let lots of other potential readers know by writing up a quick review on Amazon. It is one of the most useful things you can do to help my writing career. Thank you. If you haven't yet got a copy, then you're in luck, click here to be taken to the Amazon page which will happily enable you to purchase a copy straight away!

P.P.S. Audiobook lover? The second Book in the Beyond Veils Series - The Truth of Her, Beyond Veils, Book Two - is now available as an Audiobook! You can download it from Amazon, Audible or the Apple Store. It's about 11 hours of fantastic narration by the wonderful actress, Amy Foley, of a story that asks 'how do you remain a good person when bad things keep happening to you?' Get it now, here.

P.P.P.S I have a podcast too! Published on Apple Podcast - it is called "Letters from an Author" and features me, reading aloud these letters that I send to you, my subscribers, my friends. You can download and listen to the episodes - about 10 minutes or less per episode, because I know how busy we all are - here. I had great fun recording them, I hope you enjoy listening.

P.P.P.P.S Also worthy of mention is that the full series collection has just been published as a single eBook - and at a significant discount on the total 3 separate e-book purchase price. Get 'The Beyond Veils Series Collection' for just £9.99 here.